Death of a friend

I wrote this yesterday but I wasn't sure if should upload it. Here it goes

Just a couple of hours ago I heard that a very old friend of mine has died.  By very old I mean that our friendship dates back a long time, even before I knew what the word friend means and also the fact that this man was somewhere in his eighties.

Normally you are supposed to feel sad when someone dies. No?  Yes. But I feel happy.

You see this friend of mine. He used to call me his “chalgosey wala dost” before I knew his name, or who he was, I knew that I had a chalgosey wala dost. He would bring soun halwa and chalgosey from Multan and I would eat them like crazy. I used to love them and my parents told this to him. As the years went by his health deteriorated and his regular visits to Islamabad lessoned. But no matter what, there was a regular mail package addressed to “merey chalgosey wala dost”.

Getting back to why I am happy

So you see this guy, Bhai Jan Usdani everyone calls him, is my mother’s cousin. I think. He is one of those people who have spent their lives living for others and without even realizing it. He would wake up before dawn. Pray thahajud. Then pray fajar then he would go to his shop where he would practice hikmat. Homeopathic medicine, for free as far I know. He would write books, have them published and then send them off to friends and family. These books talked about how to live a good life, be happy and healthy, the right medicines etc. etc. I could go on and on about his life but you see It doesn’t matter. Not to him. He wasn’t one of those people who did things for others so that he would be remembered. He did it for the sake of doing it. I praising him wouldn’t matter to him.

I remember his bones were thin. His skin would hang loose and he would go on and about the day with the biggest smile I have ever seen. His teeth poking out. He almost looked like a happy cartoon. He was average in height but extremely week. But if someone told you of his daily schedule you would think twice before believing it.

I just realized I haven’t explained why I am happy

You see. I happy because in him I see a friend who did all he ever wanted. He raised his kids, didn’t get them money, but he taught them to be the best of people. He loved his family. He did everything for his friends and it’s not like he was waiting for something in return. Had he been waiting, I would wished that he got to see the fruit of his efforts. But he wasn’t. And apart from that, you see he was so ready to step into the next world. I really feel he deserves it. He seems like one of those people who you know will get all the promises of the hereafter. Whenever I used to meet him I would wish him to be stronger to be able to enjoy more and I think that the life into which he is entering will give him that. The thing is, it is difficult to wish for anything for a person who seems eternally satisfied. Hereafter seems like the ultimate reward for him that he is finally getting inshAlalh.

The last time I met him. I remember I went up to him nervously and asked if he remembers me. I was guilty for not visiting him in a long time. He was wearing glasses as thick as my thumb and I was sure that he would have lost me in his old memory. He didn’t answer the question. He kept eating the food in front of him while I looked down at floor embarrassed. Then he turns to me and says “chalgosey laaye ho merey dost?”

That same night. I remember one other thing he said to me. Now all of us have well-wishers and I have heard lot of people wishing for success or money or happiness for others. Bhai Jan usdani however said this “allah taaku dilli sukoon devey”. I live in a world where money success, promotions and so many other things matter to people and there he is wishing for my hearts inner peace. It was something that might never leave me.

May Allah bless him with the highest grade in paradise Ameen.

When an apple meets a banana

I just saw this, an old wall post that i wrote on a friends wall.

"an apple says to a banana, whats up
the banana replies, nothing much just talking to a fruit
the apple, surprised, says, but fruits dont talk.
the banana says, i was thinking the same thing
the apple, annoyed, says, you idiot fruits dont think
the banana says, confused, does that mean that i am a fruit
the apple says, i think so, 
the banana says, so that means that you arent a fruit,
the apple says, i am not so sure anymore.

and just like that two fruits forget who they really are and what the point of this story was. i actually wanted to stop at the first line. socha pura hi likh deta hun.
in conclusion. i miss you bro.
whats up"

A Strange Ride

When you board a bus and plan to sit next to strangers, you mentally prepare yourself for mildly unsettling encounters. Naturally, I had to interact with three people

• The guy sitting next to me: Normal
• The guy sitting in the next aisle: Normal
• The hostess:  No

Every hostess has a character of her own. Mostly they just provide you the service and you forget about them the instant you are off the bus. This one, however, was a liiittle bit strange.

The moment I got on the bus I noticed that she was someone with huge temper problems. She kept complaining to the driver about this and that, how someone didn’t count the passengers properly, how someone was trying to pin the blame of missing headphones on her and how she was making him regret it. Etc. etc.

Once the bus started moving one of the passengers ringed the bell. The hostess rose up from her seat, turned around all surprised, and asked out aloud “kis ko maslah parh gaya hey abhi sey” obviously no one dared to raise their hand. Sitting back down, exasperated, she said to the driver “ajeeb pagal log hen, abhi sey tang kar rahey hen”

This would repeat every 20 odd minutes. Whenever someone wanted water or some headphones, she would get up, glare, ask the passenger to wait. Sit back down. Only once she was satisfied that she had shown enough attitude would she actually go and serve.

"nokar samjhtey hen ajeeb"

"abhi tou paani pilyaa tha"

"kitni piyaas lagti hey"

She was handing out headphones when I asked her to kindly spray the air freshener.  Pulling out a sarcastic smile and raising her hands, stuffed with headphone bags, as if to say “cant you see”, she said “aap wait kar lein please”. I matched her smile and tone “ji bilkul. ap pareshaan mat hoya karien please”. This confused her a lot. A few minutes later she returned, smiling, with the air freshener.

An hour later she got up to distribute disposable cups. I had my headphones on so i couldn't hear her but I could see that she was in an argument with a passenger two rows ahead of me. Anyway, she hands me a cup.

“thankyou, magar mujhey nai chaieye”

“kyon” surprised

“mera roza hey”

“uffhoo mein abhi paani nahi dey rahi”

“tou phir is ka kia karun”

“aftari k time pey paani duun gi naaa”

“aftari k time tak tou hum puhanch jaiin gay”

“uff. mujhey nai samaj aa rai. Ghar ley jana aap issey”

I obviously couldn’t respond.

About an hour later she had gotten up for something. She comes up to me. Stops.

“yeh aap kia parh rahey hen”

I show her the cover of my book

“is ko parh kar kiya faida ”

“yeh acha banda tha, shayad mein kuch acha seekh jaun issey”

“nai mera nai khayal”

Leaves

An awkward moment yet again

So basically I accept friend requests from people if we share a few mutual friends, without really checking their background. Reason being that at times I forget if I have met someone before and I don’t want to be rude if I have. Anyway so today on my cover photo some guy, Bla Bla, commented “left par aik nihayat khubsurat shakas (the guy on the left is extremely beautiful)”

I immediately opened his profile to see if I knew who he was. From the pictures, mutual friends and the ‘about section’, I could see that I must have played basketball with him at some point. However I didn't remember him at all.

Since it felt weird, I removed the comment. That was about two hours ago.

Just now I get a notification and it says Bla Bla commented on your photo. I open the picture expecting a hate comment but the comment reads: “left par aik nihayat khubsurat shakas”.

I ended up liking that particular comment and well here I am. Bye.

Won’t be able to share this on Facebook :p

Embarrassing Moments :D

Something insanely embarrassing happened yesterday. Rather, I was the cause of something really awkward. The story involves a few names though and I don't want to mention them. However I really reallllyyy feel like writing about this, so instead let me share a story from last year. 

This one day I reached the Daewoo bus station in a hurry. I jumped out of the car asking my friend to park while I get the tickets. I didn't have any prior booking and it was a weekend. I raced into the building, screeching to a halt in-front of the counter. I had about four or five people in-front of me waiting to get the chance token. I don't remember exactly why but I needed to leave as soon as possible. I excused myself over to the cashier. Trying to catch my breath, with a dry throat I asked him

"When will the first bus leave for Lahore"

"It wont", he said, smiling. 

"How can this be possible, your buses leave every hour. Which one can I get a seat in"

"You cant sir"

"I don't understand what you mean. I need to leave right now. I need a ticket".

I could see my friend coming with my bag on his shoulder, twenty odd feet away. A small crowd had gathered around me, I realized that my voice had risen. Some seemed surprised while the rest had smirks on their faces. I turned back to the counter, calmed myself down. 

Speaking slowly, i said, "Sir, i need to know when the first bus will leave for Lahore. I need a ticket."

"Sir we don't travel to Lahore from this station"

"WHAT? WHY?"

"Because sir you are standing in Lahore".

And you can imagine the rest :D

-

I am not sure why I opened this tonight. Maybe its because I cant sleep, or maybe I don't want to.
Why?
I don't know.

The cursor keeps blinking.

This blog has not been a personal one. I don't come here to express my emotions. I have been told I don't express my emotions anyway.
"You don't have to suppress how you feel".
Brings me back to the question of why this browser tab is open?
Do i have anything noteworthy to say today? A story, maybe? Something inspirational?

The cursor keeps blinking.

The Teaching Doughnut

There are a few days that are going along on this weird kind of bumpy road. You are happy and satisfied one moment and suddenly you get frustrated. There are only two possible endings to such a day. You either go home, sleep peacefully or you take a grumpy face to bed, stare at the ceiling all night.

I was driving on the same bumpy road today and something (not important at all) happened that created the illusion of the road leading to a dead end. While this analogy is very poor, it conveys the fact that I wasn’t really jumping up and down with happiness on my way back home. I stopped at a bakery to get bread.

You see, I, like most of the people out there, succumb to the whispers of the pastries, the lemon tarts and the creampuffs etc. Usually I tell the shopkeeper “one of this, two of that and on and on”. Everyone at home likes all these sweet items. Its always nice when me and my sister divide different pastries into halves so we can eat all the different ones without getting full. It is all fun and bubbles you see.

But since I was having this not-so-happy day, I decided no. Not today. No happiness from me for anyone. Not today.

I mentioned I like almost all things on the bakery counter but doughnuts to me are like average. I eat them if anyone offers one and I like them. But I have never really craved one. Today however this one doughnut caught my eye. It looked like the sweetest thing in the whole shop.  For some reason or the other I bought one. Just one. I decided to eat it in the car. I had it all planned. I would eat it before I reached home, throw the box in the garbage can outside the house and no one will ever know about it.

Anyway. I sat down and ate it. To this date, I have never eaten such a bad doughnut. The only doughnut that I craved for turned out to be a letdown. This really confused me but then I realized that the taste had nothing to do with the fact that I wasn’t enjoying it. Not having anyone to share it with, made the whole thing pointless.

I am a firm believer of the theory that happiness is happiness shared; otherwise it is just a passing emotion with no real meaning at all. This bad doughnut reminded me just that. I kept smiling all the way home, laughing at my own thoughts.  

P.S if anyone at home is reading this, I am sorry. I think I got what I deserved but I will make it up to you :)

P.P.S. Doughnut. Weird spellings. No?  I started the article with “dohnut” but that didn’t make sense. ‘Dough’ is clear but I don’t really understand the ‘nut’ part.