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Thursday, July 17, 2014

A Strange Ride

When you board a bus and plan to sit next to strangers, you mentally prepare yourself for mildly unsettling encounters. Naturally, I had to interact with three people
  • The guy sitting next to me: Normal
  • The guy sitting in the next aisle: Normal
  • The hostess:  No

Every hostess has a character of her own. Mostly they just provide you the service and you forget about them the instant you are off the bus. This one, however, was a liiittle bit strange.
The moment I got on the bus I noticed that she was someone with huge temper problems. She kept complaining to the driver about this and that, how someone didn’t count the passengers properly, how someone was trying to pin the blame of missing headphones on her and how she was making him regret it. Etc. etc.

Once the bus started moving one of the passengers ringed the bell. The hostess rose up from her seat, turned around all surprised, and asked out aloud “kis ko maslah parh gaya hey abhi sey” obviously no one dared to raise their hand. Sitting back down, exasperated, she said to the driver “ajeeb pagal log hen, abhi sey tang kar rahey hen
This would repeat every 20 odd minutes. Whenever someone wanted water or some headphones, she would get up, glare, ask the passenger to wait. Sit back down. Only once she was satisfied that she had shown enough attitude would she actually go and serve.
"nokar samjhtey hen ajeeb"
"abhi tou paani pilyaa tha"
"kitni piyaas lagti hey"

She was handing out headphones when I asked her to kindly spray the air freshener.  Pulling out a sarcastic smile and raising her hands, stuffed with headphone bags, as if to say “cant you see”, she said “aap wait kar lein please”. I matched her smile and tone “ji bilkul. ap pareshaan mat hoya karien please”. This confused her a lot. A few minutes later she returned, smiling, with the air freshener.
An hour later she got up to distribute disposable cups. I had my headphones on so i couldn't hear her but I could see that she was in an argument with a passenger two rows ahead of me. Anyway, she hands me a cup.
thankyou, magar mujhey nai chaieye”
“kyon” surprised
“mera roza hey”
“uffhoo mein abhi paani nahi dey rahi”
“tou phir is ka kia karun”
“aftari k time pey paani duun gi naaa”
“aftari k time tak tou hum puhanch jaiin gay”
“uff. mujhey nai samaj aa rai. Ghar ley jana aap issey”
I obviously couldn’t respond.

About an hour later she had gotten up for something. She comes up to me. Stops.
yeh aap kia parh rahey hen”
I show her the cover of my book
“is ko parh kar kiya faida ”
“yeh acha banda tha, shayad mein kuch acha seekh jaun issey”
“nai mera nai khayal”

Leaves

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